By 8:30, all the residents are in their own rooms. I went into Mom's, and all the lights were out. She was asleep in her bed, and again... EVERYTHING was packed and in the middle of the floor. Pictures off the shelves, DVDs packed up, she was ready to go.
I gently woke her up and she was clearly disoriented. I asked how she was, and she said "Angry, I'm angry at those movers!"
What movers, Mom?
"They were supposed to come and move me to the other apartment."
This is your apartment mom, let me help you put things away. I went into the living room and started putting things away...she started getting dressed, in day clothes. A few minutes later I went to check on her and she had closed the bedroom door.
Are you ok Mom?
"No, I'm not ok. I'm definitely not ok. We were supposed to be moving to the other apartment and they didn't get it right! I was..." and she started forgetting what she was trying to say "you don't understand what I'm trying to tell you!" She was starting to cry.
It's ok mom, I can tell you're frustrated. Let me help get your pictures back up.
In a few minutes she came back in the living room and sat in her chair. She was weepy, and we had a long talk about how safe she was here. 2 of the nurses stopped in to check on her, and were as sweet as they could possibly be. Mom quickly moved into sadness/depression "I just feel so stupid. I was trying to help."
I know Mom, please don't worry, and I don't think you're stupid at all. It's a new place and takes some getting used too. You are very, very safe here.
We continued talking for awhile. I was mostly trying to reassure her about being safe and having nurses looking out for her medication and watching her sugar. "Yes, I don't crave it like I used to. That's the thing about my disease...the craving it. The doctor told me there's nothing wrong with your brain, you're a very smart girl. I just get my diet mixed up and eat extra cookies."
It is so strange sometimes...it is like seeing every psychological defense mechanism I've ever heard of in their purest, almost primal form. Tonight I saw transference, projection, anger, denial, depression and acceptance - all within a few minutes.
It was almost 10 by the time I left. I came in with word search puzzles, and left with a bag full of some of Mom's DVD's. As much as she used to love CSI, Law and Order SVU, and her war movies, for some reason I think her world is a scary enough place without watching things like that.
Besides, that will be fewer DVDs to put back on the shelf next time.
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