Much more positive visit with Mom tonight. She was happy to have seen Kenny earlier, and said "He brought his daughter too. She is getting so pretty. Really beautiful!"
Of course there were a lot of other interesting comments, including a nurse pulling me aside to tell me Mom had packed up all her clothes and taken all her pictures down in the middle of the night last night. She had it in her head that I was coming to get her. Mom remembered doing that last night and now realized she had been confused. She was also thankful that Kenny was able to hang everything back up today. The nurses are going to look into putting locks on her closet doors.
The nurse also told me Mom got up in the middle of the night because there was a bear outside her window. The nurse closed Mom's blinds and told her she would call someone to take care of it. I am very happy that she is in a facility that understands dementia and is able to respond appropriately to things like that. Which leads to what I really wanted to type today...
Yesterday I was definitely a little stirred by how violent most of mom's comments were. I finally followed some advice I had been given by one of the resident managers a few weeks ago and decided to look into the Alzheimer's association. I have participated in several charity walks, and still remember when my grandfather went through this (not to mention what my grandmother went through caring for him), which gave me the false sense that I pretty much knew everything I needed to know.
When we think we know, we can't learn.
There is a LOT of useful information out there. Just reading more about the symptoms, how they present, and how to respond was so reassuring. Pretty much everything I've written about so far is quite common in someone with dementia, although it did reinforce that my mother has reached the severe stage. Still... knowing more facts does make it easier to deal with, and easier to smile no matter what she says. I was calmer tonight, and so was she. Tomorrow I'm going to bring her some puzzle books, because she was surprisingly able to articulate the fact that sometimes she is bored and that leads her to imagine things. "There's nothing to do so I sit, and sit just staring at the walls, and next thing you know I think the snowmen are talking to me."
I think I might start talking to snowmen too if I were looking at the same walls and halls every day.
For my family, a few other links that I strongly suggest checking out... even though we know most of this, it is helpful to read as much as you can:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001767/
http://www.alz.org/national/documents/brochure_basicsofalz_low.pdf
http://www.ehow.com/facts_4826701_rapidly-progressive-dementia-symptoms.html
http://familydoctor.org/familydoctor/en/diseases-conditions/dementia.html
http://www.ehow.com/how-does_4674237_dementia-progress.html
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/dementia/DS01131
And last but not least...some advice from Mom. Once I told her how lucky she was because it was COLD (really really COLD!) outside, she said "Make sure you've got oil in your car. When it gets cold out your car goes through it faster and you've really got to watch out."
I had mine changed last week, Mom. Thank you for looking out for me. <3
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