Mom was waiting for the lawyer to get there tonight...to help determine where the children are going to live. Apparently there is some issue with figuring out who all 4 of her children are going to live with and she was stressed about it. I walked her back to room and had to stay awhile. She was really anxious tonight.
Then...and this is a big deal... the nurse says she needs me to sign a DNR.
WTF? I said umm... We already signed one, all 3 of us. She pulled out the book they had on Mom, and it wasn't in there. Them losing it is a very big deal. I signed one that was there, but between them and the rehab facility, they need to track down the one that Paul, Kenny and I all signed.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
4-28-2012
I don't think Mom knew who I was during most of our visit today. When I got there she said she was trying to find out where her girls were.
'Which girls, Mom?'
"My 2 daughters... I mean...my youngest, daughter."
'Do you know your daughters names, Mom?'
"I knew you were going to ask me that." She sat there pondering for a minute.
'You mean Paula Mom? She's doing fine.'
"Oh good...because you know she's just a baby."
This went on several times throughout the visit. I walked her back to her room, and we started watching the aviator. She was in good spirits, but almost nothing she said made sense, and she kept asking about her babies.. at times I felt like she saw me as any of the other nurses who take care of her.
I had Salmon and broccoli for dinner tonight.
'Which girls, Mom?'
"My 2 daughters... I mean...my youngest, daughter."
'Do you know your daughters names, Mom?'
"I knew you were going to ask me that." She sat there pondering for a minute.
'You mean Paula Mom? She's doing fine.'
"Oh good...because you know she's just a baby."
This went on several times throughout the visit. I walked her back to her room, and we started watching the aviator. She was in good spirits, but almost nothing she said made sense, and she kept asking about her babies.. at times I felt like she saw me as any of the other nurses who take care of her.
I had Salmon and broccoli for dinner tonight.
Monday, April 23, 2012
4-23-2012
Mom is gaining a lot of weight. I guess it is from eating well and not exercising enough. Yesterday, she didn't recognize Trish. She knew who 'Trish' was, but didn't believe that Trish was really her.
Other than that, she has been doing ok. She seems content with where she is, but still asks about when she's going home. They are also going to have the doctor check her next week to see if he can prescribe a patch, which they said will help with 'behavioral issues'. That definitely needs more researching before giving them the ok.
Other than that, she has been doing ok. She seems content with where she is, but still asks about when she's going home. They are also going to have the doctor check her next week to see if he can prescribe a patch, which they said will help with 'behavioral issues'. That definitely needs more researching before giving them the ok.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
4-11-2012
Mom was sitting in the main room when I got there around 6:45 today. Her walker was filled with DVDs,a pair of boots and a pair of slippers. 'you brought all your DVDs out here, Mom?'
"Yes. it was ringing, and I was trying to answer it, so I thought I would bring them out here with me."
She was a little mixed up today, but it was ok. We went back to her room and unpacked her things, then watched Stepford Wives together. She was unable to remember her room number, was unclear about where she lives again, and asked me the same questions over and over, but was in a generally good mood and happy to see me. She had some strange stories about people who were trapped a hotel, and calling her for help because they needed money. She was proud of herself for staying calm.
"Paul still wouldn't drive through the night, so I had to drive through the neighborhood where they were staying. "they kept calling me... 'will the lady of experience please come to the phone?' Yes, this is the lady of intelligence. I think it was Paula that wanted to order a hamburger, and I said..ok that isn't too expensive."
She also told me that she made all the clothes that the Stepford Wives were wearing. It took her about 4 months, but she made every one of them.
Moving forward, I think I will only be using this blog to track significant events or changes in Mom's condition, rather than typing the same updates over and over. Being honest, it starts to feel forced, and makes me a little sad. I just like chillaxing with her, and will update here as it makes sense.
"Yes. it was ringing, and I was trying to answer it, so I thought I would bring them out here with me."
She was a little mixed up today, but it was ok. We went back to her room and unpacked her things, then watched Stepford Wives together. She was unable to remember her room number, was unclear about where she lives again, and asked me the same questions over and over, but was in a generally good mood and happy to see me. She had some strange stories about people who were trapped a hotel, and calling her for help because they needed money. She was proud of herself for staying calm.
"Paul still wouldn't drive through the night, so I had to drive through the neighborhood where they were staying. "they kept calling me... 'will the lady of experience please come to the phone?' Yes, this is the lady of intelligence. I think it was Paula that wanted to order a hamburger, and I said..ok that isn't too expensive."
She also told me that she made all the clothes that the Stepford Wives were wearing. It took her about 4 months, but she made every one of them.
Moving forward, I think I will only be using this blog to track significant events or changes in Mom's condition, rather than typing the same updates over and over. Being honest, it starts to feel forced, and makes me a little sad. I just like chillaxing with her, and will update here as it makes sense.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
4-7-2012
I am actually typing this from Mom's place...sitting in the main room with several of the residents. She introduced me as "This is my other daughter, Kimberly Irene Mahan" I smiled, and she smiled back. "I'm remembering."
'Remembering what?'
"Everything."
'Well that's good. Tomorrow is Easter. We're going out to camp to visit everyone.'
"Oh good, I guess that means I better pack."
'No, Mom. NO PACKING.'
'"Not even a pair of jeans? Extra clothes?"
'No packing. No packing.'
"Well are we going to be living there?"
'No, Mom. Just visiting. NO PACKING'
"Well I can wear extra pars of underwear and you won't even know."
'No packing, Mom.'
We went through several rounds of the 'You live here.' game, then she said "Who is going to watch the baby?"
'What baby, Mom?' "The one I take care of all the time." 'I'm sure they'll take care of it for you, Mom.' "It is going to look at them and say 'you better feed me." We sat and just chatted for awhile, about all the friendly people in the room. She told me about the actress that was killed, and stampeded by a horse. Then out of the blue - 'You're losing weight. Looking good, girl. They haven't seen much of you around here They'll say 'who is that babe?'"
"Did you tell Chuck we're coming? I don't want to see him wear his birthday suit to dinner." 'He knows, Mom.. We're just going for dinner.' "You don't know Chuck like I do."
"I've got a real good picture of Paula, when you were taking care of her, when the mothering instinct kicked in. You won't believe how much Aunt Midge looks like my Mother. I didn't realize it until I came back here. I kept sa" Not sure what that's about... but I'm going to shut the computer down and give her my undivided attention for awhile.
'Remembering what?'
"Everything."
'Well that's good. Tomorrow is Easter. We're going out to camp to visit everyone.'
"Oh good, I guess that means I better pack."
'No, Mom. NO PACKING.'
'"Not even a pair of jeans? Extra clothes?"
'No packing. No packing.'
"Well are we going to be living there?"
'No, Mom. Just visiting. NO PACKING'
"Well I can wear extra pars of underwear and you won't even know."
'No packing, Mom.'
We went through several rounds of the 'You live here.' game, then she said "Who is going to watch the baby?"
'What baby, Mom?' "The one I take care of all the time." 'I'm sure they'll take care of it for you, Mom.' "It is going to look at them and say 'you better feed me." We sat and just chatted for awhile, about all the friendly people in the room. She told me about the actress that was killed, and stampeded by a horse. Then out of the blue - 'You're losing weight. Looking good, girl. They haven't seen much of you around here They'll say 'who is that babe?'"
"Did you tell Chuck we're coming? I don't want to see him wear his birthday suit to dinner." 'He knows, Mom.. We're just going for dinner.' "You don't know Chuck like I do."
"I've got a real good picture of Paula, when you were taking care of her, when the mothering instinct kicked in. You won't believe how much Aunt Midge looks like my Mother. I didn't realize it until I came back here. I kept sa" Not sure what that's about... but I'm going to shut the computer down and give her my undivided attention for awhile.
4-6-2012
It was a quick stop tonight. Jaymz and I stopped by on the way from the office. Mom was in her room, and in a good mood. I started her movie for her and told her I was just stopping in for a minute. We had to get Jaymz's computer to Best Buy before they closed.
She was very tired...hardly answered. Just said, "ok see you tomorrow."
On the way out, the nurse stopped me to tell me she had dressed Mom for bed early because she had seemed so tired this evening. She said Mom curled up in her chair under her blanket, and she knew she was ready to rest.
She was very tired...hardly answered. Just said, "ok see you tomorrow."
On the way out, the nurse stopped me to tell me she had dressed Mom for bed early because she had seemed so tired this evening. She said Mom curled up in her chair under her blanket, and she knew she was ready to rest.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
4-5-2012
I got a call about Mom at 4:30 am this morning. They had found her sitting in her room on the floor, then she got up to her knees and then stood up. She said she didn't fall, and wasn't hurt, but they need to report it. She told me they have been having problems with Mom insisting on walking without her walker.
She looked good when I saw her this evening, around 6:30. She was in her room, and I showed the nurse how to work her DVD player. She and I watched Coach Carter together. She also made an Easter bunny today, which she was proud of.
She looked good when I saw her this evening, around 6:30. She was in her room, and I showed the nurse how to work her DVD player. She and I watched Coach Carter together. She also made an Easter bunny today, which she was proud of.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
4-4-2012
Mom was doing ok today. I stopped by a little earlier - around 5:30 - and she was in the main room, and still eating her dinner, although most of the other residents had finished. She was wearing her pajamas.
'Hi Mom - you're wearing your night clothes to dinner?'
"Yes. And I'm not even going to tell you what these people are doing to me. Accusing me of taking clothes. I don't take anyone's clothes...they go into my room and take my clothes and just put them on the floor. I sure as hell wouldn't do that."
Oh boy. I just changed the subject and asked about her meals, and her day. 'Did you get to go outside today?'
"No, I was too busy washing clothes. I had to wash all of their clothes too, and that just isn't fair or right. And I'm not lying to you. I swear it really happened."
Alrighty. She asked me about my day, and about what kind of work I do, and then out of the blue - "We had to get rid of one of the dogs today."
'Oh really? Which dog, Mom?'
"Jaymz's dog. The one he chose from Aunt Bea." There are so many things mixed up in that statement it wasn't even worth deciphering. I sat for awhile just observing the other residents. It is really interesting to hear them try to communicate with each other sometimes, each in their own little worlds. Then I asked whether she would rather watch TV out in the main room, or a movie in her room. She was a little snippety about preferring to go back to her room.
I went back to her room with her, put in Coach Carter, and told her I would see her tomorrow.
She seemed a little teary/sad, but said "Ok honey. It's always great to see you. Thanks for coming."
'Hi Mom - you're wearing your night clothes to dinner?'
"Yes. And I'm not even going to tell you what these people are doing to me. Accusing me of taking clothes. I don't take anyone's clothes...they go into my room and take my clothes and just put them on the floor. I sure as hell wouldn't do that."
Oh boy. I just changed the subject and asked about her meals, and her day. 'Did you get to go outside today?'
"No, I was too busy washing clothes. I had to wash all of their clothes too, and that just isn't fair or right. And I'm not lying to you. I swear it really happened."
Alrighty. She asked me about my day, and about what kind of work I do, and then out of the blue - "We had to get rid of one of the dogs today."
'Oh really? Which dog, Mom?'
"Jaymz's dog. The one he chose from Aunt Bea." There are so many things mixed up in that statement it wasn't even worth deciphering. I sat for awhile just observing the other residents. It is really interesting to hear them try to communicate with each other sometimes, each in their own little worlds. Then I asked whether she would rather watch TV out in the main room, or a movie in her room. She was a little snippety about preferring to go back to her room.
I went back to her room with her, put in Coach Carter, and told her I would see her tomorrow.
She seemed a little teary/sad, but said "Ok honey. It's always great to see you. Thanks for coming."
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
4-3-2012
Mom was doing ok tonight It was late when I get there - 8:30 or so, and Mom was in her room, sitting in her rocking chair, watching a blank TV screen. I noticed that the walker in the room was not hers.
'Hi Mom. What are you doing?'
"Oh I was just sitting here, waiting for you to come. After they sent me around to all the different gates. First I went to Gate 1, then Gate 2, then Gate 6 I kept telling them I'm not in the military, and I couldn't find you so I came back here."
Apparently she had been driving around Andrews Air Force base today.
I helped her find her glasses, and worked with the nurses to find and switch her walker back to the correct one. after that we just talked for awhile - She asked about Paula and Kenny, as well as where her car was. All and all, she was in a pretty good mood.
'Hi Mom. What are you doing?'
"Oh I was just sitting here, waiting for you to come. After they sent me around to all the different gates. First I went to Gate 1, then Gate 2, then Gate 6 I kept telling them I'm not in the military, and I couldn't find you so I came back here."
Apparently she had been driving around Andrews Air Force base today.
I helped her find her glasses, and worked with the nurses to find and switch her walker back to the correct one. after that we just talked for awhile - She asked about Paula and Kenny, as well as where her car was. All and all, she was in a pretty good mood.
Monday, April 2, 2012
4-2-2012
Mom was in a much better mood tonight, although I'm not sure I can say much better shape. I stopped by a little after 8, and she was sitting in the main room. Her shoes were on the wrong feet, and her buttons were so crooked that she could hardly move her arms, but she smiled when she saw me.
She started talking about how "they" didn't like her clothes, but she couldn't help it because "My mother can't just hand me 100 dollar bills for new clothes any time I want. I'm just like any other woman of the 50s, but I guess that makes me too common for this place. Unlike that other woman"
I had no idea what she was talking about. 'What woman, Mom?
"The one that was killed."
'Oh, goodness. Let's fix your shoes Mom.'
I fixed her shoes and shirt and told her I needed to get home to eat. "Oh we're about to eat."
'I don't think so, Mom. I think your next meal is breakfast. Do you want me to walk you back to your room?'
"No, I'll stay out here."
The nurse had been sitting out with one of the other residents and said "Your mother loves to dance. We put a waltz on and she was dancing all over the place." Mom was grinning from ear to ear "Do you like classical music, Mrs Mahan?"
"Oh no way. I like country music!"
I gave her a hug and a kiss on her head and told her I would see her tomorrow. The only other thing worth noting is that
She started talking about how "they" didn't like her clothes, but she couldn't help it because "My mother can't just hand me 100 dollar bills for new clothes any time I want. I'm just like any other woman of the 50s, but I guess that makes me too common for this place. Unlike that other woman"
I had no idea what she was talking about. 'What woman, Mom?
"The one that was killed."
'Oh, goodness. Let's fix your shoes Mom.'
I fixed her shoes and shirt and told her I needed to get home to eat. "Oh we're about to eat."
'I don't think so, Mom. I think your next meal is breakfast. Do you want me to walk you back to your room?'
"No, I'll stay out here."
The nurse had been sitting out with one of the other residents and said "Your mother loves to dance. We put a waltz on and she was dancing all over the place." Mom was grinning from ear to ear "Do you like classical music, Mrs Mahan?"
"Oh no way. I like country music!"
I gave her a hug and a kiss on her head and told her I would see her tomorrow. The only other thing worth noting is that
Sunday, April 1, 2012
4-1-2012
It was hard to leave Mom tonight. She is really struggling with her memory, and it makes her understandably frustrated and angry, which unfortunately gets turned on the people that surround her.
I worked all day at my other job, and stopped by Mom's on my way home - around 7:30. The nurse told me she had just gone to her room. When I walked in, she was in her bathroom 'Hi, Mom. How are you?'
She called out from the bathroom "I'm in here. Who is it?"
When she came out , I said 'It's me.'
It was strange, but she was looking at me as if she didn't recognize me. There were long pauses and she said "You look like...you look nice. All dressed up for Christmas" (I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a baseball cap.)
'How are you?'
"I'm about to call the police, that's what I am." She was angry, and was describing to me that they had her walking up and down stairs for 8 - then 5 hours straight, down all these hallways and floors, and keep moving her room around. "And I'm not crazy. And I don't deserve to be treated that way."
I sat down and re-started the Mona Lisa smile movie for the 3rd day in a row. Mom said "Oh good - I've never seen this before." She went on and on, was very weepy "I'm not lying to you. I leave my room and then everything moves. It is very scary."
It certainly would be. I just sat for awhile, and kept responding to her complaints with comments about the nurses being there to help her and keep her safe. After about an hour I told her I needed to get home.
"I know you want me to tell you I'll be ok, but I'm not. I'm not crazy, and I'm not lying to you. I mean it."
I watched the movie for a little while longer, then gave her a hug and told her it would be ok. On relection...even I have a hard time buying that. It's really sad and scary sometimes. She was almost defeated in her tone, and she just said "thank you for the coffee."
I worked all day at my other job, and stopped by Mom's on my way home - around 7:30. The nurse told me she had just gone to her room. When I walked in, she was in her bathroom 'Hi, Mom. How are you?'
She called out from the bathroom "I'm in here. Who is it?"
When she came out , I said 'It's me.'
It was strange, but she was looking at me as if she didn't recognize me. There were long pauses and she said "You look like...you look nice. All dressed up for Christmas" (I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a baseball cap.)
'How are you?'
"I'm about to call the police, that's what I am." She was angry, and was describing to me that they had her walking up and down stairs for 8 - then 5 hours straight, down all these hallways and floors, and keep moving her room around. "And I'm not crazy. And I don't deserve to be treated that way."
I sat down and re-started the Mona Lisa smile movie for the 3rd day in a row. Mom said "Oh good - I've never seen this before." She went on and on, was very weepy "I'm not lying to you. I leave my room and then everything moves. It is very scary."
It certainly would be. I just sat for awhile, and kept responding to her complaints with comments about the nurses being there to help her and keep her safe. After about an hour I told her I needed to get home.
"I know you want me to tell you I'll be ok, but I'm not. I'm not crazy, and I'm not lying to you. I mean it."
I watched the movie for a little while longer, then gave her a hug and told her it would be ok. On relection...even I have a hard time buying that. It's really sad and scary sometimes. She was almost defeated in her tone, and she just said "thank you for the coffee."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)